NATIONALITY

A Pole, a Brit and an American rob a bank. Afterwards, each hides in a different ree.  The cops go the Americans tree and say, 'Who's up there?' The American guy says, 'Tweet, tweet.'  The cops say, 'Oh it's just a bird.'  They go to the British guys tree and say, 'Who's up there?' The Brit replies, 'Meow, Meow.'  The cops say, 'Oh it's just a cat.'  They go to the Polish guys tree and say, 'Who's up there?'  The Polish guy says, 'Moooo!'

A Frenchman and an Italian were sitting next to an Englishman on an overseas flight. The began discussing their home lives.  'I made love to my wife 4 times last night,' the Frenchman bragged. 'This morning she made me delicious crepes and told me how much she adored me.' 'Last night I made love to my wife 6 times,' said the Italian. 'This morning she made me a lovely omelette and told me she could never, never love another man.'  The Frenchman turned to the silent Englishman. 'And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?' 'Once,' he replied.  'Only once!' said the Italian. 'And what did she say this morning?'  'Don't stop!'

A plain crashed in a Polish cemetery, so far the investigators have found 6,785 bodies.

One day I'ma gonna Malta to bigga hotel.  Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast.  I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast.  She brings me only one piss.  I tella her I want two piss.  She says go to the toilet. I say, you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate.  She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch!  Later a go to eat at a bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a knife and a spoon, but no fock.  I tella I wanna fock.  She say everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table.  She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.  So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed.  I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit onna my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.  I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say, peace on you.  I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch.  I gonna back to Italy.

This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say,
"You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them,
"I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in.
Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
  The husband asked the man,
"How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
  The Pakistani man replied, "Just try dem on Saiheeb."
  Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years -- raw sexual power.
  In a blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Pakistani man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, and ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Pakistani's thighs.

The Pakistani then began screaming,

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